Whew!!! So, this is how my year ended. Yeah, I’ve never had so much fun slinging a boa while dancing to a Mariah Carey Christmas song…hYlarious! I was grateful for the exciting moments of being with friends and the intentional moments of solitude, being with myself and my four-leggeds. I’m most grateful that I took the time to punctuate the ending of this year with an deliberate pause and to feel into what was possible for me in the new year.

2023 has been a rollercoaster ride full of important learnings for me. This was the year I traveled back to my hometown multiple times to assist in helping my parents move into a Senior Living facility in order to sell my childhood home. I witnessed (and continue to witness) my mother and father slowing down significantly as they contended with serious health issues. (I’ve had lots of big feelings related to my family that I’ve been working through.) I also have to admit, after fourteen years of working full time and pushing myself to complete my education so I could grow the business I’d envisioned myself offering for the past 25 years (not to mention doing all of that while moving to new homes eight times), I hit a serious wall of exhaustion. I spent the first six months of 2023 trying futilely to pull it together but my brain wouldn’t work, I couldn’t focus, and I couldn’t find the motivation to move forward. I felt so unsettled that I found myself questioning if I still wanted to continue down the road I’d been traveling. I needed a serious reboot.

Around July of 2023, I decided to stop struggling and just allow myself to be. And when I stopped pushing, so much started opening up for me. I realized that I was tired and that it’s okay to be tired. I had a right to be tired because I’d done a lot in the past years. I also had a lot to process from my shadow coaching training, including recognizing my own traumas sustained as a child that were influencing how I was showing up in my work, my relationships, and how I felt about my life. I began to accept myself on a deeper level because I was pausing long enough to breathe, be, and observe. I was setting very reasonable boundaries that I’d been afraid to set previously, for fear of not being perceived as a “nice”, understanding person. In short, I started honoring myself more fully and became my own advocate and cheerleader.

I permitted myself to lean into resting and it was the best thing I could have done for myself. When I allowed myself to slow down and breathe, I could acknowledge my anxieties, my fears, my lack of motivation, and my anger, and I could put them all into perspective and just be with them without judging them. My “negative” emotions actually taught me wonderful things about myself:

1. To keep myself focused on the present and what’s happening for me at the moment.

2. To recognize when I’m projecting and when I’m making myself wrong.

3. To honor when I’m tired because rest helps me to think and sense more clearly.

4. And to honor my boundaries and to acknowledge my grief and heartbreak.

   Understanding my “negative” emotions even freed me to live more courageously, with more of an open heart and open mind because I know I can handle and work through the dark things I don’t like to experience. I can confidently say that I’m ready to step into 2024 with more energy, motivation, curiosity, and groundedness. This is going to be a wonderful year filled with new openings, connections, and greater self-awareness. Oh, and I can’t forget FUN as I focus on cultivating more focus, discipline, passion, joy, and play!!!

   2024 also marks the official launch of my Shadow coaching offerings! connect with me for coaching or combine it with massage for a deeper sensed/felt experience. Unearth your truth. Embody and celebrate your voice, power, and unique gifts through Body-Centered Shadow coaching, Maya abdominal massage, breathwork, and conscious movement! Check out my updated website, complete with my coaching offerings to see what’s new!